Jeremy Melvin 3 months old (15 weeks)

*** I completely forgot to post this one. Oooops, I have a lot going on. I will write a real update now!

Today Jeremy is 14 weeks old. He will turn 15 weeks tomorrow. Where has the time gone? I am amazed at how fast time is flying with him. Part of me wants to wish it will slow down so I don't miss anything, kind of like how I was on my wedding day and how I am every year on Christmas day. The other part is anxious to see what he will develop in to.

He is the absolute most precious baby ever! Yes, I (his Dad, and AuntMa) are truly biased, but who can blame us. I know you all were probably worried about us that first month and a half. It's true, I almost swore off ever having children again. I even asked my mother in law, and all of my friends with multiple children, why/how did they ever decide to have more. NOW, I know. Yeah, he makes it so fun and easy and enjoyable. I know that things probably will change and it may not always be this enjoyable, but hey, this is our reality right now.

Amazingly, I am eating my words. Motherhood is the BEST job ever. For that reason I can now see me (the one who always said she would have a job no matter what) being a stay at home mom. My love for work does not compare to my love for taking care of Jeremy. Again, I'm like a whole new person.

It's not completely perfect though. Unfortunately he is now 100% formula fed. Can I just explain how expensive that is becoming. If I could change this, I would. I buy the largest cannister from Sam's Club once every other week. And my coupons have run out. I feel guilty too because I wanted to nurse him until at least 9 months. But his health and blood sugar were of utmost importance. And all of my diapers from the baby shower have run their coarse. So we finally have to come out of pocket for those as well. I mean can we see I need a part time job just to pay for these things. :)! Let's not mention "day care" costs. Well we have it a little easier in this department because my wonderful sister is keeping him on Mondays and Wednesdays. Dad has him the remainder of the week.

I was distraught having to leave him to return to work as well. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do besides put my Mommie in a home and lose her to cancer almost a year later. You think having done that I would be use to it. But no, I am still struggling with being away from him. I have been back to work for 2 weeks and actually started to cry yesterday because I wanted to be home with him. Me, the one who refused to touch a baby wants to hold mine all the time. I tell you, this motherhood thing is crazy.

I worried about being a good mother because of my own past, and now I am amazed at how false my thoughts were. I feel I was born to be his mother. I know, I know, I sound a bit crazy, but I know what the alternative looks like, and trust me this is much better. My love for him is completely normal and healthy. I am 100% realistic where he is concerned. If I weren't I seriously doubt I would be back to work. I would have quit my job and stayed home causing us all to struggle.

I am just openly sharing how motherhood has changed me. This is not the case for every one, but it is my case.

Now, to give some updates.

-My son has decided he wants to be independent, so he tries to hold his bottle and pacifier on his own. Yes, he is only 3 months and some weeks. I know, already too grown.

-He has not yet turned over ( I hear this is a good thing ) but he is certainly trying. Many people have said they think he will skip crawling and will start walking before time.

-He is sleeping thoughout the night (from 10p- 6a or 7a). He actually knows that it is bed time at 10 p. Whether he was just napping before this time or not he is always ready for bed at 10p. I LOVE it, especially now that I am fully focused on my thesis writing.

-He took his first professional pics a week after Christmas. He did such a great job and promptly fell asleep immediately after we finished up.