We are 17 weeks old

I am such a terrible blogger, journal keeper and the like. I have missed a few weeks of keeping you all up to date about my journey into pending motherhood. Well, as a brief update, we are now 17 weeks old and steadily growing.

Unfortunately, I still do not feel pregnant, though I am beginning to look it. It's amazing how each morning I look in the mirror amazed at the extra girth around my midsection.

To share some of the highs and lows about my pregnancy, unfortunately I have been having some serious headaches. I am sure a great deal of this is due to my extremely high stress level but it is probably also due to the fact that I am pregnant. Ironically in the past my stress lead to anxiety attacks, which thank God I have not had. Now, I have headaches, everyday just about. I fear they may be affecting the baby.

My appetite has picked up a great deal. I guarantee by 12pm I have to have lunch or else!!! I am not very diligent in eating something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And I am eating most of my food, trying to get in all of my nutrients. That's hard by the way! Food is still not appealing to me as it does other pregnant women.

I barely have any clothes to wear, and I am still refusing to buy maternity clothes. No one is really explaining how that whole thing works so I don't want to waste my money. You know how cheap, excuse me, frugal I can be.

I am trying to bond with the baby but I still feel as if I am talking to my belly. I feel foolish. Pray for me y'all. I am making a great effort to do everything right, just about. But my hormones are messing me up. I am pretty much angry all the time, that may be attributed to it being the end of the semester and stressors at work that are beyond my control. But Daddy and AuntMa Ne-Ne are catching the brunt of it all.

I am having the weirdest dreams in the world. So I dreamt of my Mommie (like I was saving her one night) and at the end of the dream there was the most beautiful little baby girl ever. I woke up thinking, darn if that is a sign I need to try again. Yes, it is true, I want a boy because I don't know how to raise a girl.

I am not sleeping well, having crazy dreams, and I am crying like nobody's business. Which ticks me off because I am a private crier.

Well, I have a few more days to wait before I see our baby again. Next week we find out the gender and make sure he or she is okay. It is so frightening when you have no indication if your baby is okay. I keep thinking, well I'm getting bigger so he or she must be doing okay in there, and I am always hungry so they must be okay.
Well we are off to class to learn about the ways of institutional ethnography... don't ask because I am clueless about the subject.

Talk to you next week.

We are taking wagers (is that how you say it?) A boy or a girl?