Wishes to my son...

So today I want to take a detour and talk a little about life... of course relating it back to Jeremy.

For the last few months I have had some difficult people in my life. Of course they were not aware that I considered them difficult people because I never felt right telling them that. You know how that can be. You don't want to tell someone that they are difficult to get along with because they can't be trusted, they lie about EVERYTHING, they are manipulative and way too needy. Well, that's the case here. I also felt that I was not one to judge, I have my own issues and can be a pure pain to be around myself.

Well, as the months ticked on I realized my life was getting out of control, because I was not speaking up. Actually I felt that had I spoken up it would be a detriment to me and possibly my future. Of course Richard and NeNe were doing their best to convince me to speak up, but I felt, in time things would right themselves.

Well now, I realize that I should have been more honest with this one person in particular. Despite the superiority this person has over me, I should have stood my ground and been completely honest. Regardless of the consequences. So in all of this, I wish that my son realizes WHO he is and how is actions affect other people. I hope Jeremy will learn that things typically happen to us as a consequence of how we act. My Mommie use to say all the time: If one person says it, you don't have to believe it, if two people say it, start perking up those ears; but if more than 3 people say the same thing about you .... you better listen because there is some truth there.

I just hope Jeremy never blames others for his place in life. Despite the hell I went through growing up, I had to realize my biological parents could only be blamed until I became responsible for myself and my own actions. What I go through today, is a direct result of who I am and how I act. If I am looked over for a promotion, denied a job, not chosen to be some one's friend, or asked to step down from a position I have to look first within myself to see where fault lies. We must realize the entire world is not out to get us. If we exert positive energy (this means: COMPLETE honesty, not gossiping, helpfulness without expecting it to be returned, and so on) into the world people will be drawn to you automatically.

My one prayer from the day I found out I was pregnant was this: Lord, I pray that I will raise Your son (Jeremy) to truly know You, love You, reverence You, and seek after You with his whole heart. If Jeremy can do this, maybe he will be saved from being a difficult person. Maybe he will have the love of God in him at all times. I know, I have so many faults with my anger and lack of patience that I may not be the one to really teach him the ways of God. But I wish he does not learn the hard way what it means to be a difficult person like I did.... by allowing a difficult person to be a part of his life.

I am not sure how many people follow my blogs privately. But if you are reading this and you think you are a difficult person, please do as I do. PRAY! Only God will deliver you from yourself. At the end of each day you should be able to close your eyes and say... I cannot be called out on the rug for lying to someone, gossiping about someone, manipulating someone, and so on so forth. I love the saying my Mommie use to say all the time: "Do unto others has you will have them do unto you."

Don't get even, don't get angry Just Pray. And please don't pray for revenge, pray for wisdom and discernment for yourself and others. Pray God shows you the way and His will for your life.

As I finish this blog I will do so in prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I come to You humbly and in reverence of You. As I await the arrival of Your gift to me, Jeremy, I pray for more of Your wisdom and discernment as it pertains to my life. I pray that the lessons You are so graciously teaching me today, I will fully receive and serve as a blessing to others. I will be salt to the earth and a light in dark places. But most importantly Lord, I pray that as you so diligently and patiently teach me how to walk in Your ways and have a pure and genuine relationship with You, I will do the same with Jeremy. Lord You are the only teacher that this world needs. I thank You for Your presence in my life. I pray for those who are still seeking You and have not quite found You. May Your light shine on them as it has for me. Thank You Lord for Your grace and mercy.
In Jesus name I pray these and all other blessing,
Amen!